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I am still in shock given the news I was presented with early this morning. I never got the chance to be really close to Macky when he was around, as he helped us out during the proxy season. To me, he was your typical silent worker ever-ready to lend a helping hand whenever the need arises. I never really saw through him, beneath his quiet cool exterior. I never saw it coming really...It hit me hard that life these days is indeed fleeting. I feel such a great sense of loss because I knew he was a good kid. He was amiable towards everyone and always very respectful..I cannot even begin to imagine how his family and dearest friends are feeling right now...I pray that his family gets through this very rough time although not unscathed, yet ever stronger. It is just so sad that someone so full of promise could give up on life too soon. He's gone...too soon...

To Macky, wherever you are, I pray that you finally find the peace you are looking for.

in shock

Since I am cramming for my upcoming exam in December, I usually find myself awake during weird hours these days. It is during these times that I get to read messages in my blackberry that for some reason I feel drawn to respond to, well at least to some of them. This very early morning, I got a message from my boss flagged as high importance. I usually give him a call when I get to the office in the morning. This time was different. I just washed my face to at least jolt my senses more. Then I called him and we chit-chat for a bit. Then he relays the shocker...it is highly confidential so I still cannot really put in here what we just talked about. All I can say for now is, I feel a little lost and alone and I just needed to let these feelings out. I wanted to talk to someone but most of the people I can talk to are still sleeping. Some people who might be awake at this time, I am not sure I can talk to and I don't want to bother anymore. Oh my gosh!!! *sigh*

Right now, all I can do is pray, so that I can be centered, and take deep breaths...

Thank God for Eye Candy

It has been a while since the last time I got to meet cute strangers, moreso have a conversation and share a meal with them. Thanks to Elaine for making it happen. I just needed some what my sister would call "positive distraction". That is what I got when I crashed Elaine's team's inuman session this evening.

Usually, at around this time, I am already asleep because I would be all tired from working and studying. But not this time. It's already 1:33 am and I am still very much awake. Woohoo for thoughtful friends! Thank God for the beautiful creatures he showers me with from time-to-time for me to look at. Haha!

God Truly Knows...

...the desires of our hearts...

I just woke up and after a silent prayer and doing some stretching, I reached out for the bible placed on top of my TV to find comfort in His words.

I opened it randomly at the Song of Songs Chapter 8. Written, towards the end of the chapter were these words..."Do not arouse, do not stir up love, before its own time."

With these words, I am comforted as I face another day. I am still hurting but there are still bountiful blessings I should be grateful for.

Nina, who is a very interesting person I met in a flight to Minnesotta last year, is such a delight since she is constantly keeping in touch no matter how busy and demanding her work is. The thing is, you can really feel her sincerity despite the fact that she is a celebrity and an accomplished person in her chosen field.

I am thankful to the supervisor of Mochablends in SM Dasma since he was very considerate as he allowed me to use his wifi access when the entire Mochablends was offline, knowing that I needed to check something urgent.

See? I really should be keeping a Things to be Grateful For journal, not only to keep track of things, people, or events that made me happy or hopeful in the kindness of other people; but also to remind me that I really should still be thankful despite the trials, hurts, and pains because life would be a little blah and boring without them.

Maybe

I have been listening to Ingrid Michaelson's Maybe for the past few days of my waking moments, when I do not have anything better to do or simply when I cannot concentrate on what I am supposed to do. It purges all the pain and emptiness I have been feeling these past few days. To those of you who really know me, I am a very transparent person. No matter how brave a front I put up, the people closest to me would know that something's not right with me. You can just imagine how difficult it is for me to face my parents every single day, the mask I wear to cover-up how I truly feel inside. Why do I do this? Because I need to be strong, because there are far more important things to take care of and be concerned about than my almost-always-there-but-nonetheless-non-existent affairs of the heart.

"I don't wanna be the one to say goodbye
But I will, I will, I will..."

Actually, this has been taken care of already. I do not think I have to say goodbye since what good would it bring? That fateful email is as good as goodbye. Maybe a goodbye should be good so that I can get closure? But what do I need closure for? You need to tell me because honestly I do not know anymore...A good friend of mine's probably right, I saw what I wanted to see because I wanted something to happen. But then again, I took everything for what it was, and I do not think it is fair to put labels on whatever I had with you except for the fact that to me everything was REAL...or at least I thought it was real...

"The only way to really know is to really let it go
Maybe you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back, you're gonna come back to me..."

How do you let go of someone who was never yours to begin with? The past few weeks had me feel like I was preparing for something big, only for me to find out later on that I was not actually going to be a part of it. I should be okay with it, if only someone bothered to let me know I am not and never will be a part of it. There's no coming back to wait for or hope for...

I was never the wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve kind of person until lately and is the pain all worth it? Yes. Putting myself out there and making myself vulnerable was the least pragmatic thing I have done but I have no regrets. It hurts badly but life goes on. I just pray that all these things I am going through right now would help me become a better person. I am just grateful that these things happening made me more appreciative of the things that should actually matter...family, friends, and life itself...

I have been constantly evolving, and still am...Is the shy, vanilla, and vulnerable Ana still here? Or have I been changed once again into a crazy, jaded, and cynical bitch? Maybe...Maybe not...All I know is that I will aspire to be a better version of myself without compromising who I really am.

While staring at the vacant seat in front of me...

I realized, so this is how it feels like be hung out to dry...

Tagaytay in the Late Summer

I spent the weekend with family. Weather was great although it got a little too foggy to my liking. I wanted to have a great weekend before I venture into the JVAS Season. So off we went to Taal Vista in Tagaytay. I had fun and I really got the chance to relax and catch up on sleep...

Enjoy the pictures:)

Currently loving...

Pink's Dear Mr. President...haunting melody...lyrics are so simple yet the words struck a chord...

How Have You Been?

That is the question I get asked most often these days. Kasi siguro, hindi na naman ako nararamdaman ng mga tao. Blame the proxy season!!! Hahaha! I really think that with the proxy season, you can never be too prepared.

Sabi nga ng isa kong officemate, "Kinausap lang kita Ana kasi feeling ko hologram ka lang jan eh.I just wanted to make sure you are really there." Hahaha!

Yesterday, I was wearing this really nice red tube dress to the office just to give me the summer vibe and with hopes that I will not be staying late at the office. Boy was I so wrong! I left the office at half past eleven in the evening. What scared me the most was the fact that I started feeling chest pains and for the first time, I really felt tired and it was not something I can simply brush off. After I wrapped everything up, I took very deep breaths and closed my eyes for a few minutes. I said, I need to get some coffee if I were to make it home in one piece. Unfortunately, the Starbucks I usually drive by was already closed so I had to settle with stuffing my mouth with gum and I played Missy Higgins loudly para makasabay ako and magising. Thank God it worked. I got to Sucat Road in no time, but it was there I encountered terrible traffic. Kaya lalo akong naniwala sa Murphy's Law:p hehe...

Today's a Sunday. I slept in really late and I was not even able to drive for Mama. Naawa daw sha sa akin kaya hinayaan nya ako matulog so she went by herself to do the groceries. Haaay! I turned on the TV para abutan yung Pacquiao-Hatton match (at this point though I already know Pacquiao won in Round 2 via TKO). I must say, I really like Manny's aura this time. Mukhang busilak talaga yung puso niya. Sana he retires while he is on top and SANA he does not venture into politics.

Maiba ako...kahapon yung araw na nakaramdam ako ng iba't ibang sensations. I consider it good kasi ibig sabihin buhay pa ako for one thing (hahaha!) and ibig sabihin din nun na kahit busy ako eh hindi pa ako manhid...

Let me recount the feelings/sensations that stood out yesterday:

excitement: because I got to wear the dress I bought online and I got to chat with Tarzan (who was sick all week)

brainfreeze: the office A/C plus haluhalo fiesta could spell disaster hehehe! I never felt that in a long while...nag chatter yung teeth ko habang naglalakad ako papuntang restroom...and dun ko narealize...ang lamig...

pain and exhaustion: my chestpains, headache, and stomach ache (enough said)

fear: when I realized I still had to drive myself home while feeling pain and exhaustion

joy and gratitude: when I pulled over in front of the garage knowing I know that with God's grace I made it safe

I guess with this post, what I wanted to say is life is still good no matter how difficult and challenging it may seem. The key is to know your center, and keep close to you the people and thoughts that keep you grounded and sane. I also try to come up with something I can look forward to each week...and I am really counting the days until the busy season would be over.

To cap this entry, here are pictures of things and people I was able to take pictures of in the last few weeks...

a rose and spotted carnation

me and Jeri

Venus deMilo

Me, Chelley, and Joey at Solihiya

Mama at Pia y Damaso

Moving On...

I was in the middle of something when my blackberry flashed the red light signalling that a message has been received by my unit...I usually ignore this at around this time. But then something told me to pick it up and read whatever it was that came in. There I saw that my favorite boss/person in the company already left the company. This really made me sad because he is one of the reasons why I decided to stay right where I was in the company...Despite this, I really wish him well just because this is all I can bring myself to feel apart from the sadness that his departure brings.

Step by Step by Eddie Rabbit

A friend of mine introduced me to this song...cheesy yes...soooo 80's...but it sticks so here you go...

She seems a million miles away
When she walks by
You don't know what to say
You gonna make a move
You better make it now
And don't be afraid
'Cause love will show you how

You take that first step
Ask her out and treat her like a lady
Second step
Tell her she's the one you're dreaming of
Third step
Take her in your arms and never let her go
Don't you know step by step
Step by step
You'll win her love

She looks too beautiful to touch
But your heart keeps talking to you now
Don't give up
You think you see something in her eye
But you will never know until you try

But you gotta take that first step
Ask her out and treat her like a lady
Second step
Tell her she's the one you're dreaming of
Third step
Take her in your arms and never let her go
Don't you know that step by step
Step by step
You'll win her love

Second step
Third step
Don't you know step by step
Step by step

First step
Ask her out and treat her like a lady
Second step
Tell her she's the one you're dreaming of
Third step
Take her in your arms and never let her go
Don't you know
That step by step
Step by step
You'll win her love

Second step
Third step
Don't you know step by step
Step by step

First step
Ask her out and treat her like a lady
Second step
Tell her she's the one you're dreaming of
Third step
Take her in your arms and never let her go
Don't you know that step by step
Step by step
You'll win her love

I had a dream...again

I am making it a habit to blog all my weird dreams...

I have non-weird dreams which I find more special just because...hahaha!

Anyway, this entry is supposed to be for my weird dream...

Last night, I dreamed that I won the Ms. Universe pageant. Hahahaha! EA was there, Mama was there, pageant organizers were there and a roomful of press people were there. It was such a great feeling, in my dream at least, to be considered as the most beautiful woman whatever year it was since it was the first time in a long while that the Philippines brought home the crown. To bring such pride to my country...hahahaha! Okay Ana!!! Stop!!! Dream nga lang eh...Well it was good while it lasted...

Wala Lang...

Mama and I have been going to the Mall of Asia (MOA) for two consecutive weekends now. Last weekend, we went there to look for an ink refilling station which we managed to do. It is actually great to explore the MOA, because you will be presented with a LOT of choices. It has a hypermarket (but I still like the one we have here at SM Sucat), a lot of nice shops, and a lot of variety if you want to go on a food trip.

Earlier, since Mama admitted to being bored to death with SM Sucat, we decided to do our grocery shopping at the MOA. I had to swing by the office first since I needed to do some things. This means that by the time we got there, I was already a little tired and very very hungry!!! (Nahuli pa ako ng MMDA and I was issued a ticket on our way to the MOA. Magbabayad pa tuloy ako sa bank.) We had lunch at David's Tea House and it was pretty good. Then Mama and I walked around which worked us up. The mall was just too big for us. I managed to get a few things from La Senza, only because they were on sale. Hahaha! Afterwhich, we continuously walked with hopes of finding the hypermarket. I was soooo tired by the time we got to the North Wing where the hypermarket was since we parked at the South Wing!!!

The hypermarket was too crowded for me and I really started to feel sleepy. Then Mama goes "Anak, may sexy dun sa aisle 3." Hahaha! To those who do not know us really well, we like checking girls out. Imagine Mama and I braving the horde of people just to check this girl out. Mama was so amused with the girl's outfit. It was like the girl was doing her grocery shopping in lingerie. She probably looked hot just with her back profile. But oh my gosh! It was such a waste of effort when I actually saw her. In Mama's words..."Sorry anak, chaka pala!" Hahahahaha!

Anyway, it will be another long week ahead. I hope to feel better tomorrow since I started having the sniffles again. Have a great week ahead:)

I will just think of my pick me uppers last week which would include Bellevue's crispy pata, Pancake House's steamed bangus, Kanin Club's turon kc ala mode, and chocolates.

I had a dream...

A song to sing...

Hahaha! No, this is not one of those songs sang in Mama Mia:p I really had a dream, albeit a weird one.

In my dream, Papa, Mama, Mean, and I were in the living room watching TV...I was on the floor, when all of a sudden Mike Enriquez (yes the news anchor in GMA-7 who got famous for SAKSI!!! and EXCUUUUUSE ME POH!!!) came into the room, exchanged pleasantries with my parents and sister and then rushed to my side, kissed me on the cheeks, and then used my lap as his pillow...End of dream...

What the heck was that about?!? Hahaha...Please do not ask me because I really have no idea.

Interpretations please!!!...(I already got one from Pothead which involved my laptop and losing it, taxi cabs, and Mike Enriquez of course ) For the benefit of those who do not know who Mike Enriquez is (paging Ela hahaha!!!), below is his photo.

Source: Google Image Search (http://media.photobucket.com/image/mike%2Benriquez/irenecara/a80170db.jpg)

I Am Bummed Out...

Because I have been nauseous for the past couple of days...
Because I am tired and the dark circles around my eyes are proof that yes I am really really tired...
Because I was called "churchy" by someone...I thought I could brush off the bothered feeling I had...turns out I was wrong...call me all the names you want, "snob", "anti-social", "masungit", "mataray", but please don't ever EVER call me "churchy" for the simple reason that I am not...The term churchy for me connotes an imposition of ones beliefs and values, and again, I never do that. I have my values but I always respect other people's values and belief system. So yes, if you want to bum me out and piss me off, call me "churchy" and you might not see the light of day. Hahaha!...The thing that bums me all the more was the fact that the person who called me churchy was someone I really really liked...He, of all people would call me churchy?!? Hah! I know I am being "pikon" about the whole thing (I even cried over dinner and I really had my moments hehehe)...but I don't effing care...this is my blog...Hahaha!

Despite me being bummed out, I do not want to end this post on a sour note.

I am thankful for Kanin Club's heavenly turon...a must try and a winner...
I am thankful for friends who take the time to go out with me and listen to my inanities...
I am thankful that I got home safe despite my physical challenges within the day...

I hope everyone enjoys the coming weekend!

Six Years

Today marks my 6th year with the company. This is probably why I felt nauseated and throwing up.:p Enough said...

For Osangga

Since I stopped blogging at the other networking sites I maintain accounts in, I am posting my reply to Osang's note right here and hopefully, some of you might want to do the same for me:p Hahahaha!

To Osang:

How well do you know me? Comment on this note with your answers! Tag friends and see who knows the most about you!

1. Where you and I met? - at the ISS office International Research Division, 28/F, Philamlife Tower:p

2. How long have you known me? 6 years this march 17

3. The last time we saw each other? last February

4. Your first impression of me upon meeting/seeing me? sweet...pa-sweet hahahaha!!! eto...popular oh-ha:p

5. Am I funny? yeah...fo shoo hahahaha!

6. What's my favorite music? willy garte...aegis...hahahahaha!!!

7. Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else(what)? hippie na punk:p

8. Have you ever hugged me? countless of times

9. If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be? bugnot:p kabatak (dahil antisocial ka na rin :p)

10. If you and I were stranded on an island, what would I bring? your personal journal...so that we would have something to make chika about hihihihi

11. Where do you think I will be in 20 years? in the US with your family...maybe with 5 kids (para di sayang yung balakang mo:p)...magka county na tayo nun sa San Diego yiheeee! hahahaha

12: Will you re-post this so I can fill this out for you? Eto na nga:)

My Pick-Me-Uppers

I have replied already to the thread my sister started the other day in her blog about pick-me-uppers. I said that in addition to the ones she has posted like music, coffee, and chocolates, I added in there my daily fix of Chico & Delamar's Top 10, and my chat sessions with Big Bob.

Now I want to share my favorite pick-me-uppers with my very own visuals:p Feel free to share what yours are...

Top Most Row (L-R): Mango Tapioca of North Park, a new pair of shoes, Big Bob's window popping out

2nd Row (L-R): Georgetown Cupcakes, my laptop (Ford), UCC's Japanese Halu-Halo

3rd Row (L-R): a nice view of the moon although my camera failed to capture it, memories and pictures with good friends I have not seen for quite a while, Boudin's famous Clam Chowder on sourdough (yum!!!)

Bottom Row (L-R): a nice and heavy breakfast, fresh flowers, ROYCE chocolates

Saturday in Binondo

To make up for the very hectic schedule at the office which I came up with for Taketoshi last week, I asked him if he wanted to do anything on Saturday just so he could experience what it is like to be outside of Makati. Taketoshi, being the nice guy that he is, simply said that whatever available tour there is which would not require us to go outside of Metro Manila (because I thought of driving him to Tagaytay) should be good.

Having heard him say that, the Binondo Wok Tour came to mind. I looked it up and managed to find Old Manila Walks. I also thought of the Intramuros Walk. Unfortunately, it was not available on Saturday. On Thursday, I called Ivan Dy, the main contact person for the Binondo Wok Tour and asked for particulars on this tour. He got my contact details so that he could send me the tips and specifics. After depositing the fee on Friday, we were all set for Saturday.

On our way to Binondo, I realized that it was not that difficult to get there. Finding parking space might be challenging but finding your own way was not that bad. This is what a map is for:p Anyway, Taketoshi and I got there earlier than expected since I had to give an allowance had we gotten lost. We tried to walk around the area but then Eng Bee TIn's shop was calling out to me. We went in, looked around and then bought some hopia. There was also some free taste going on which at that time were peanut balls. It looked weird because it was like your usual squidball submerged in hot water. At first I was scared to try it, but then I did not have anything for breakfast so I tried anyway. To my delight, it actually tasted good. After looking around some more and securing my purchases, we just decided to go inside the Binondo Church (also known as Basilica de San Lorenzo Ruiz) for some pictures and to seek shelter from the sweltering heat.

It was actually cool talking to Taketoshi about things other than governance issues and JVAS policies. I learned a lot of things about him and from him. After waiting for what seemed like half an hour (since we were very early), we noticed a bunch of people gathering in the lobby of the church. There the tour guide stood with several people who will be joining the tour. I was really excited about this because what better way to spend the day than exploring new territories and getting to try out everything it has to offer along the way?

From the church entrance, our group crossed the street to stop at Plaza Calderon dela Barca where the tour guide (not Ivan Dy) gave a very brief et interesting history as to how Binondo came to be. The next stop was this store where tablea was being sold, LA RESURRECCION CHOCOLATE. We were asked to sniff on packs of tablea and it was realy so good, moreso for a chocoholic like me;) I am quite familiar with tablea because my family used to receive supply from our dear Lola Madre. I learned though that there are two ways of drinking tsokolate tablea. One is tsokolate-E (espresso?) and the other is tsokolate-A (watered down). I was not able to take a picture of the establishment since my batteries started conking out on me.

Our next stop was the Eng Bee Tin Mezzanine Fire Fighters Cafe. It is under renovation but the ambiance would definitely tell you that this is a firefighter's cafe, which was established by one of the owners of Eng Bee Tin. This was located on the 2nd floor of one of the buildings. They served us Kiampong rice, fishball soup, and their signature iced coffee. According to the tour guide, this cafe serves traditional hokkien fare and not the usual chinese fare that we are familiar with. I really loved the fried rice garnished with peanuts and garlic and the fishball soup. Gastronomically heavenly I am telling you!!! Taketoshi liked it as well. I was almost done with the fried rice when I remembered I should have taken a picture of it. But heck I was too hungry to even care. I am sure there are pictures out there taken by some other tourist who had the presence of mind to take a picture before devouring the fried rice. If this is how peasant food tastes like, deng!!!

After that hearty meal (I was supposed to ask for a second serving of rice since it is an eat-all-you-can tour, pero nadyahe ako bigla haha!!!), we stopped by a chinese drugstore. The owner was kind enough to give us free candies. Yay! Then the tour guide emerges from the store with two dried lizards on a stick. It is supposed to be a medication for asthma. There are two lizards because of the yin and yang roots of Chinese traditional medicine. The dried lizards on a stick will serve as the "tea" bag as you dip them in hot water. Very interesting yet scary at the same time. There is no way I am drinking the essence of geckos!!!

After the drug store, we made our way to Dong Bei Dumpling. It was your typcal hole-in-the wall food stop. It probably could seat around 20 people max. However, the dumplings they serve are so good, you would want to keep coming back for more. We were served with the fried stuffed pancakes and two types of dumplings. one was plain pork dumpling and the other one was pork with chives dumpling. The pancakes and dumplings (the pork with chives) were hands-down winners! They were served with a special dipping sauce and every bite is worth savoring. I noticed that the wrap of the dumpling was so thin and fine that you actually see through the stuffing. However, it is strong enough to hold everything together and the dumplings here are boiled in water. The beauty of cooking dumplings this way is that you can let the dumplings stand for so long and the dumplings will not dry up, unlike when you steam it. At Dong Bei, they actually make the dumplings in front of you so you can be assured of its freshness.

After a very satisfying dumpling-session, we were led to the Santo Cristo de Longos Shrine. This, according to the guide, exemplifies the Chinese peple's adaptability since it demonstrates how Christianity meets Chinese culture. There was a cross adorned with flowers, and there were incense signifying how distinctly Chinese the shrine is.

We then went to the fruit street, which is Salazar Street. This is where I used more of the action sampler my dear sister EA gave me. I managed to kill time taking pictres here since some of our companions had to get something from one of the establishments. We chatted, took pictures, chatted some more and then off we went to the next food stop. We had fried siopao (which did not look fried at all) and Binondo's answer to Krispy Kreme, bichu-bichu. I liked the fried siopao's bun, as it was oh so soft. The filling was all right, maybe beacuse I was used to Asado or Bola-Bola kind. The bicho-bicho is a different story though. It was deep fried, crispy on the outside, yet inside the bread was soft, the kind that melts in your mouth and it was surprisingly light. After deep frying it, the manong drizzled it with sugar. Y-U-M-M-Y!!! I just had a piece since I had to make room for the remaining food stops. Bicho-bicho reminded me of something like Spain's churros. Taketoshi, being the light-eater that he is, was surprisingly adventurous and tried out all the fare made available to him.

The next food stop was the fear factor segment of the tour. The tour guide asked for volunteers to try out the next offering. Turns out, the star of the fear factor segment was the Tea Egg. Apparently, eggs were marinated in tea for three days and cooked in it as well. The star-anis injects a very different flavor to the egg. I asked Taketoshi how it tasted like and the way he described it was(please do not quote me on this)...It's good. Something like the roast pork, only there is no pork but just the egg. It's sweet and salty at the same time. In short, parang inasadong itlog siguro:) I managed to take a photo of Taketoshi and his egg. I was just too glad he enjoyed it.

After the Tea Eggs, we made our way to the last stop. We traversed Ongpin Street with its traditional chinatown shops and restaturants. There is also the Carvajal Alley Market, one of the more famous sidestreets (esquinita) in Binondo. At last, the final stop!!! We went inside Uy Su Bin Building (an art deco building) to get to New Po-Heng Lumpia House. We were served with half a spring roll each but it was so filling (and refreshing) that it was more than enough to cap off a great food tripping experience. The lumpia was different because it has a seaweed flavor to it. It was sweet, salty, slightly bitter and all the flavors you an imagine come to play in this dish that is usually dismissed as very ordinary. We ate the lumpia with peanut sauce and hot sauce and it was really good. After some picture taking, we said our goodbyes and headed back to the car which I parked near the church.

Taketoshi said that it was good that he did not need to grab dinner anymore since he still had to pack. He needed to hit the bed early since he had to catch a 7 am flight the next day. I drove him back to his hotel, said our goodbyes and I headed home. I was tired but all too happy having shown someone around and I finally got to do one of the things I really wanted to do in a long while. Exploring the places I usually take for granted is one of my life-long goals and the Binondo Wok Tour is a fitting start.

TGIF

Funny how I started to type on the title field for this blogpost and came up with TGIF, only to find out it is already 12:04 am of Saturday. Hahaha!

I am just ever grateful that this week is finally over. I have no idea how I managed to get through the entire week. Tons of meetings, classroom-type of training...but like what I told Mama when we were having dinner earlier, God is really gracious

As I sit on Beau (my chair) right now, I remember having told someone I might call and I will try to irritate the hell out of him. I am saddened by the fact that I failed to do so...but then I am having a lightbulb moment now...I still might be able to do it...

Happy weekend everyone!

Gee!!! My Hair...

When I woke up this morning, I decided to take a picture of myself to see how wild my hair has become. The effect of rebonding has started to wear away and the best way to measure it is to see how my hair looks in the morning.

You see the tendrils that are all curled up? These just get worst in the afternoon because at the office, I no longer have the time to comb and fix my hair. So I come in to work, all fixed up somehow looking like this...

Notice how the tutyangs start showing up, and I have not even gotten out of the car yet. Hahahaha! Anyway, this is just not about me being vain or anything, because in all honesty, I really could not care less how I look like, so long as do not have a breakout, and my hair is all neat and in place then I am all right (My clothes have to be appropriate too.). I am just trying to build up and put emphasis on my hair because something really creepy happened to me in the elevator which involved my supposed crowning glory.

Sometime this afternoon, I needed to get my caffeine fix so I went down to the 9th Floor, walked to where the side of Dunkin was and got some brewed coffee. Since Dunkin served their coffee scalding hot, I was really careful with it as I walked towards the elevator lobby. As I was not wearing my eyeglasses at that time, I did not notice the people inside the elevator. Besides, I do not like looking at other people's faces in such a confined space. But what was evident was one of the people in the elevator kept his stance quite close to me despite the available space inside. Then I felt it...he sniffed and smelled my hair!!! I knew it was a mistake when I decided to let my hair down while I waited on my order of coffee. I did it because I saw my silhouette and the curly hair was distracting me because it was weird seeing it that way while the ponytailed part was "contained". So I said, "Heck, if you are going to have your own mind and decide to be wild, then I'll let you be."

Going back to the guy who smelled my hair...what the hell was he thinking?!? When I told Pothead about what happened, he said "Baka may sipon lang at suminghot lang." But I really felt it since I got goosebumps on my forearms out of nowhere and I heard him sniffing in a different way which creeped the hell out of me. I should have told him off, but it happened all too fast which made me ask myself "Did that actually just happen?" I was the first one to get off the elevator and I never looked back. I was too annoyed and a little bit scared to even take a glance at him. Somehow, I blame my shampoo and conditioner, and the Blueberry Bavarian lotion I was using all day to moisturize my hand. My scent probably wafted through to him. But still, it is inexcusable to say the very least. So sa lahat ng mga kaparehas ko ng building, be careful since there is a perv on the loose.

If I Were an Album...

I got tagged by Ela and here is the result.

Artist/Band: Ulbus Glabra "Holgeri"

Album Title: They Think It's Thei Fault

Mga Eksena sa Spa

Mama treated me to a massage at the California Nails and Day Spa at the Midtown. Chivas and Sep were our therapists. They were both really nice. Chivas was assigned to Mama and Sep was assigned to me. Chivas was the funny one, while Sep was really nice.

We availed of their new offering, the Filipino Hilot. This massage has a fresh take on the traditional hilot, where you can derive a lot of pleasure from the pressure. They used Dagdagay sticks from our very own Ifugao tribe. Pressure was applied with remarkable precision on different points of our feet.

Sep asked us to undress and to just leave our underwear on. When she and Chivas left to give me and Mama some privacy, I dilly dallied since I did not hear the initial instruction. Besides, when I hear the word undress, it sort of makes me frazzled. After a couple of minutes, they still find me fully clothed and Sep gives me a smile.

Sep: Ayy hindi pa po kayo ready?
Me: Oh so we are supposed to take our clothes off.
Sep: Yes Ma'am, pati po bra.
Me: Can I leave mine on?
Mama: Virgin kasi!

I was so embarrassed that I only managed an awkward smile. Haaay!

In the middle of our session, Sep used the Dagdagay sticks on my feet to apply pressure. She rubbed one foot at a time and I was squirming on the massage table trying to contain my giggles because I am the most ticklish person you will ever know. Sep stopped since she did not want me to feel uncomfortable and stiff. I said it should be fine so long as she is not bothered by my squirming. She said she was fine with it and she just said that i should relax. I managed to contain my giggling but I had to breathe in a weird way then I heard Chivas go

Chivas: Ay si Ma'am mukhang may sapi!
Sep: Hah?
Chivas: Si Ma'am kakapigil sa tawa nya mukhang may sapi!
Sep: (starts to laugh herself) Ikaw talaga Chivas!!! Gusto matulog ni Ma'am eh ang ingay ingay mo.
I let out a snort as well. Haha!

I did want to get get some shuteye and I managed to. I fell asleep because the massage was really good.

When we were done, they served us with hot tea. They were very very nice and really good with their service. Mama and I plan to come back.

Post-Valentine Greeting

To redeem myself from my response to Tina's "Happy Valentine!!!" greeting last Thursday...which came off as a funny albeit bitter "Pffffttttt!!!" (with matching face hahaha!!!), I am posting one of my favorite songs (and what could actually be the soundtrack of my non-existent lovelife) The Real Thing by Kalapana. I dedicate this song to all my dear single girlfriends Tina, Che, Kathy, Dada, Dietz and Michelle. The song says it all and it is my prayer that that one person meant for you would find his way to you soon.

Here comes the night
Once again
I'll be feeling lonely
Oh, if only things could work out like you plan
Where can love be
Tell me why it's so hard to find somebody
Who will stand by me
And take the time to understand
And show me love again

I want the real thing
Or nothing at all
I need someone that I can be sure will catch me
If I should fall
Someone who'll be there when I call
Then I'll know that it's the real thing
I want the real thing
To hold me each night
Someone to love me over and over
Making the future bright
Oooohh someone who'll be there when I call
Just give me the real thing

Where is the moon?
Won't it smile
On just one more dreamer
Let your beams come down
And fill my empty room
Here comes the night
But if there's still a chance
That love can find me
I'll be here
Crossing my fingers

I want to know for sure
That I can feel secure
Knowing I've found an everlasting love
And once I get that under control
Then I won't let go

Facing the Inevitable

I have been nursing my cough and colds for the longest time now and I was never one to immediately go to the doctor if I feel something is a little off with me. However, I started to feel alarmed when last week, I have been having on and off fever for three consecutive nights. I also do not want to continue to tire out Mama at night when I have my coughing feats while she monitors my temperature as well. I never really liked going to the doctor but then I realized I had to when I felt pain creeping up my left ear as well as chest pains and headaches I cannot brush aside. I went to see my doctor as the weekend closed in because I wanted bronchitis and pneumonia to be ruled out. Thank God because my trusted pulmonologist Dr. Mateo said I had nothing to worry about and that it was just my asthma not being controlled. She ended up giving me three different steroids, an anti-asthma, and antibiotics for three days. I got myself an organizer for my medicine and it was quite funny as I got one from my Lola (daig ko pa si Lola since yung organizer ko ang laki hahaha!). I am due to be back at her clinic after three months. I really hope everything turns out all right since it will be very busy at work for the next 3-4 months.

To everyone who sent in their warm thoughts and well wishes, thank you!

I Got Tagged!

I never took part in tagging activities in the blogosphere. However, as I am in the mood for one now (and out of kahiyaan to E), I am responding to the 25 Random Things About Me. Off the top of my head are the following:

1. I am wearing my yellow smurf statement shirt saying I'M GROUCHY.
2. I just had a very good breakfast from the JEEPNEY Deli.
3. I can cut my finger nails without looking at them.
4. I love dark chocolates.
5. I am now a Fango Facial junkie.
6. I am neck-deep in work but I am also learning to destress and let go.
7. I am blessed to have a family who's always there for me, and wonderful friends who always got my back.
8. I destress with a glass or two of sangria.
9. I love Larry's Bar's Choco-e Martini and strawberry shisha.
10. I can make my irises disappear as I roll my eyes, and can sustain it for a while. (Hahaha! Freaky I know!)
11. I own an action sampler which is a gift from my sister.
12. I have a lot of booze at home, and maybe I'll bring some to Osang's room this week.
13. I have yet to do tita's request.
14. I finally got the closure I was waiting for...on my birthday no less.
15. I learned that work is just work, and that at the end of the day, how you know and define yourself are the things that really matter.
16. I just learned that the adage "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" can be true.
17. I like somebody a lot...shhhhh hahahah!
18. I have been dreaming in color lately (I vividly remember a blue hawaiian shirt).
19. I do not like guys (or anyone for that matter) with no sense of purpose or direction in life.
20. I have blueberry bagels expired in the fridge.
21. I envision myself settling somewhere else with my own family.
22. I miss my sister and papa, and I also miss the beach.
23. I miss my pencil collection.
24. I am looking forward to repainting the house and fixing up the spare room.
25. Currently, my dream destination is Santorini, Greece.

I am not one to tag people but if you want to answer this post, then by all means do so. I hope that you learned something new about me. :)

Day Off

No, this post is not about that show on QTV with Carmina Villaroel and Pekto:p Hahaha! It just so happened that I really really love the weekends now and I love spending time with Mama. I call our weekends our day off. Mama and I just usually go to the mall, the Midtown mall being our favorite go-to place. My favorite frozen yogurt is available there, and my aesthetician Ate Jo, Mon, and Jonel also work at Fix at the Robinson's Place, Manila. Too bad that when we moved to Paranaque, it takes twice as long to go there than when we were still in QC. But hey, we still go there whenever we can. We are still right at the withdrawal stage (hindi nga maka-withdraw eh:p).

This weekend dayoff took quite an unexpected turn since last night, when I got home, our water supply got cut. I called Maynilad and found out that we will not have water supply until tomorrow noon. I cannot not have water supply. I just can't!!! Immediately, I thought that Mama and I should just get out of there and check-in at some place where there's water. Hindi kami pwedeng magtiis na walang tubig kasi pareho kami magsusungit at mangangamoy. Hahaha! I immediately booked at the Intercon after some research. I remember that their newly-renovated rooms are reasonably priced based on the recent Christmas get-together my UP girlfriends and I had. Besides, the location is superb and it will be very convenient for us to meet up with Tita Baby and Tito Gen tomorrow, before Tita Baby flies back to the US.

Mama managed to get a hair treatment and I forced myself to get a facial (thanks to FVR, related story to follow). I got the Fango Facial at The Spa (at the old Greenbelt) which was just what I needed. Parang niliha yung mukha ko and I felt the mask tighten my skin, para talagang ni-vacuum pack yung mukha ko. I love it! Pia was my aesthetician and when I come back, she will be the one I will look for. Thanks Pia!

Mama and I met up at SM where she shopped for curtains and I got us some shawarma for dinner. Hehehe. Once we got back to our room, we decided to take pictures of us as requested by my dear sister EA (please bear with the poses and crazyness).

Singapura 2009

Every time I miss my sister, I just think that she is just a three-hour flight away and that I can just go visit her whenever the time (and budget) permits.

Last December, I booked myself a flight to Singapore as an advanced birthday treat to myself. It was a good excuse as well to visit my sister whom I have not seen in four months. Mama was supposed to come with me but then she will be there in July with Papa.

The minute I saw my sister at the airport, I shouted her name "EA!!! EA!!!" and for more melodramatic effect, she came running towards me and started crying. All my defenses went down the drain when I heard her crying, so while I was shush-ing her, tears rolled down my cheeks as well. Hahaha!

It was a jampacked four days yet it was surprisingly relaxing. We ate at the old Town White Coffee, Aston's, Tori Q, MOS Burger (my fave!), and the takeout section at the new Jurong Mall. Went to Chjimes for a nightout and I got to meet up with old friends too. As a birthday gift, EA treated me to Cinderella, where Lea Salonga played the title role. I had a great time although I was a bit tired. I even got hit on by someone who asked for my number (well it was more of the auntie getting my number, hahaha) while my sister and I were having brunch one morning.

Given how I love my sister and how much I miss her to death, what some people call Singa-bore might just as well be my second home.

Birthday Post

Dear God,

I thank You for my third decade. Never did I imagine that I will make it this far considering how my health has deteriorated in the past couple of months.

I thank You for my family, my mama, my papa, my dear sister ea, my dear cousins jeri and jeo, my tita mia and tito jing, my lola, my tito oweng and tita liz, and cousin jec, my tita baby and tito gen, and cousin alex for always being there for me, in good times and in bad. They have seen me shine and they have seen me at my darkest hour but they always believed in me. They are the reasons why I am the way I am and why I am right where I should be. I thank you for surrounding me with people who keep me sane and grounded as they love me unconditionally.

I thank you for wonderful friends who never forget and have always stayed at my side throughout the years. Thank you for Michelle, for being my soul sister, secret keeper, and dream sharer. With her, I can be myself without being judged. Thank you for Ela, for bringing the extra zest and kick in what could be my outrageously ultra normal life. I am grateful for our ocassional chats and banters because these are a welcome respite to what could be a very stressful workday. Thank you for my college friends, Ren, Tina, Kathy, Da, Yas, Pola, and Che because they always got my back. I know I can run to them when something's troubling me. I thank you for Eric and Dietz as well. You brought them into my life for a reason. Thank you for Osang, a real friend I found at the office. They say one seldom finds genuine friendship at the workplace, but in her I did. Thank you for Yong as he always brings laughter in my life. Thanks for Cha, despite our petty fights. I consider her family and she's always been there for me. I thank you for Maan, Kai, Khaye, Paulynne, Kat, Pia, Tati, Kevin, and Paz. Their friendships I treasure despite the distance.

I thank you for all the trials I have been going through, those that I have surpassed, and those that I have yet to go through. I know that through these, you are turning me into someone precious, like a diamond that has to go through fire to achieve the right cut, carat, and clarity.

I thank you for my job which I still love to do. I ask for You to continuously guide me so that I will continue to make the right choices, no matter how difficult they are.

Always help me be a better person, as I start a new decade. May I always be a light to others as I try live my life in Your name.

Your Loving Daughter,
Ana

Finally!!!

Finally, I got to make my wireless router work. It's been a while since I have posted anything on this blog and on any other online account I maintain for that matter.

Finally, I got to change the look of this blog and the very essence of it. Why I changed it, is only something I would know of. Let's just say that I have been going through some rough patches lately and that I find and derive inspiration from the theme of the movie Bruce Almighty. I changed the URL and I changed the look since I want my former blog template to take a more positive turn. (Nakikisabay na rin sa theme ni Obama na change:p Incidentally it is the US President-Elect's inauguration)

Finally, I will get the chance to thank the people who truly matter to me and who stood by me in good times and in bad. These people have touched my life in more ways they can ever imagine. Mama, Papa, EA, Tita Mia, Lola, Tita Baby, Tito Gen, Tito Eric and family, Tito Oweng, Tita Liz, Jerome, Jeri, Yong, Kevin, Ela, Joey, Chelle, Maan, Tatiana, Osang, Jenny, Tina, Che, Kathy, Dada, Pola, Renren, Rizza, Kat, Pia, and Paulynne...thank you for making life bearable and fun. Having all of you in my life makes me feel so blessed and humbled. I thank the good Lord for blessing me with all of you.

Finally, some pictures that will sum up the year that was. I have come full circle last year. I loved, lost, moved forward, learned a LOT of lessons both personally and professionally, and I probably even soared. These experiences did come at a price, but each was well worth it. There are things I have done in 2008 I do not want to repeat in 2009, dreams I intend to fulfill, and difficult decisions I expect to make this year.